St. George Down Under

An Unexpected Relationship

March 30, 2009 at 2:48 pm (Uncategorized)

“I was alone, I took a ride, 
I didn’t know what I would find there.
Another road where maybe I could see another kind of mind there.”

~The Beatles, “Got To Get You Into My Life”

In Fall of 2006 I was a Junior at Churchill High School in Eugene, Oregon, where I played Ultimate Frisbee for the school team. This was my second year on the team and as an upper-classman I was expected to be a leader. (One year doesn’t seem like much, but in high school with a sport as new Ultimate, after 6 months are so you are one of the veterans.)

Practice had just started for the season and we had a boatload of new recruits due to the success of the previous year. One of my roles was teaching new players how to throw, when to cut (running in a sharp angle in order to get free of the defender) and various defensive techniques.

Most people have the general throw down, which us Ultimate players call a ‘backhand’. What is more difficult, however, is the forehand, thrown on the opposite side of the body. Because of the similarities of the forehand to throwing a baseball in regards to the openness of the body, many new Ultimate players attempt to throw the frisbee like a baseball. This, of course, is their demise. It’s all in the flick of the wrist, and this is the most difficult part of Ultimate to learn.

A few practices in I noticed a very attractive girl having difficulties throwing a forehand while tossing with a friend. She was a brunette girl, about 5″4′ with an athletic build. For some reason this memory had been branded in my brain: She wore a white, form-fitting tank top, black Nike shorts with  teal trim and brand new, stunning silver and blue Puma cleats. I approached her and asked her if she needed some help. As not being able to perform one of the fundamentals of a sport is embarrassing, she was eager for my assistance. I reiterated the method of throwing the forehand for her, explaining the need for the disc to be released flat, with much wrist and ‘no arm’…as well as sliding in a few flirtatious quips and (stupid) self-deprecating jokes. I stood back and watched proudly as her technique improved, and I could sense her happiness in her progression.

Over the next few weeks I continued to see her at practice and my subliminal flirting continued. I quickly learned that she was a freshman, so she immediately became off-limits. But, as I am a flirtatious and out-going person, the interest never died.

She suddenly stopped coming to practice. When I questioned her friend, she replied that she had found it too conflicting with her ballroom dancing. (Her friend, who she actually had dragged to Ultimate, turned out to be an incredible player who recently represented the United States in the 2008 World Junior Ultimate Championships, which America won.) That was the end of her Ultimate career.

At school shortly after her departure from Ultimate I ragged her a bit about quitting, throwing in a few flirtatious barbs here and there. I continued to see her, albeit rarely, throughout the rest of my time at Churchill, mostly in passing in the halls and chatting sparingly on Facebook.  I continued to have a forbidden crush on her but decided that a romantic relationship was impermissible, only allowing myself to gaze at her beauty from afar. 

Roughly four years later I found myself sitting in the Eugene airport, my flight having been delayed for a couple of hours. I had previously tagged her in a note where I spoke of my plans for my Australia blog. The following is her reply and the consequent discussion it spawned…

Chloë Potter wrote at 8:29am on February 4th, 2009 wwwhhattt?? why you always doing stuff I want to do???? First alaska to take care of dogs, now australia? The place i’ve been trying to get to for the past couple years?? you bum! hah how are things?

Peter St. George wrote at 12:33pm on February 4th, 2009 haha, I pretty much try to figure out what I think you would like to do, then do it myself. its how i roll I’ve been pretty good, been volunteering at Bush Animal Hospital, gettin some dough for the trip and doin photog. How have you been? I don’t think I’ve talked to you in person for years! How’re things with the boy?

Chloë Potter wrote at 10:13am on February 6th, 2009 Wow, that’s awesome! Seriously, I think that’s what you do! You probably talk to my friends or something of that sort haha. You’re a lucky guy, I’m excited for you! I’ve been alright…haven one of those months with the bad luck and all, but hey, what can you do? Someone broke my windshield and then today i found my convertable top ripped open and my ipod gone. I’m damn lucky they didn’t do any other damage though, like really. On a positive note, things with the boy are good haha. How have you been? It has seriously been years!

As I was biding my time in the thrilling local airport I decided to break out my laptop. Of course the first website I visited was Facebook, and to my pleasure and surprise Chloë was on! I initiated the conversation, and we talked for about 45 minutes, by the end of which we had come to the conclusion that we were getting coffee when I returned to the States. (We later came to the realization that neither of us particularly enjoyed coffee.) I was excited to have reunited with a friend!

I arrived in Australia and a few days passed before I made contact with her again.  And yes, it occurred on Facebook. I was checking in on my friends and found out through the Facebook feed that she had broken up with her boyfriend. While we were chatting in the airport (via Facebook) we touched on the topic of significant others. She voiced a few frustrations and indicated that she felt her relationship with her current boyfriend seemed to be nearing its cessation. Therefore it wasn’t all that shocking when I heard about her relationship ending. I felt that I should reach out to her nevertheless, to make sure everything was ok.

Truthfully, this was not my complete motive. I have a cousin who is 22 who has the absolute best boyfriend. If he lived in Eugene we would be best friends, the guy is just wonderful. And, by the way, he is the only wonderful boyfriend that she has had, so we are all very excited for her! Anyways, I remember talking to her about how she scored her amazing catch, and she gave me some advice. She told me that when you find somebody, it doesn’t matter whether they are single or not; the person having the status of  ’taken’ just complicates things a bit. At the time my cousin met her current boyfriend he was unavailable, occupied in his own relationship. My cousin maintained a friendship with her future boyfriend anyways, and when he broke up with his girlfriend my cousin was the first one there for him, comforting him. This showed him that she truly cared for him. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t some devious plan of mine to finally win the girl that I had subconsciously had a surreptitious crush on for four years. It was a way for me to talk to a friend and make sure she was okay, while keeping all my options open with her. 

This initial reaching-out set off a maelstrom of correspondences. We began by discussing her breakup and her reactions and feelings about it. I feel as though one of my strengths is talking to people about their interactions with others, analyzing their relationships and giving useful insight. I consider it fun to help others through these difficult times. It does seem a bit dark, for me to have fun at the expense of another, but it’s more about me helping that person than anything. 

We Facebook-messaged each other 15 times before deciding to take our virtual pen pal-ing to Gmail. From there, and I kid you not, we have compiled 60 e-mails between the two of us (this is my 47th day here in Oz…) Our average length of correspondence is around 600 words or so. We have discussed relationships, occupations, school, travelling, hobbies, sex and sexuality, openness, bodily functions (thought you’d like that in there, Chloë!), my blog, parents, religion, abortion, interesting books, what we’re going to do together when I return, exercising, meditation, music, Australia, bikes, photography, our daily activities, cancer and our ridiculously numerous similarities. Plus more, it’s just too much to go over. We regularly pose questions to each other ranging from philosophy-based queries to questions such as “How many kids do you want in the future and why? and where would you raise them?”

It really is extraordinary what we have covered in our e-mails, and if my dream of having this blog published seems to be realistic I may lift passages from them. It is almost like a blog, as we are being incredibly open and blunt with each other. And that is the key to our relationship: the openness. We both are incredibly open people (I am to a fault) and are relatively non-judgmental of each other. As the relationship has progressed we have found and propagated trust in one another, and it is reflected in the deepness and frankly emotionally-vulnerable subject matter we discuss. It is a one-of-a-kind relationship.

The e-mails have also added a very significant component to my experiences here in Australia. It is somewhat of a therapy for me; I spill out my thoughts and ideas nightly, flirt with a girl whom I am interested in, and basically debrief the day. Then, every morning I wake up excitedly to see how her day was, her reactions to my inquiries and adventures, and whatever else she decides to delight me with. It really has added a new layer of excitement and intrigue to this experience!

Just last week we exchanged phone numbers, and we have begun to text each other. She told me she literally jumped and squealed when she received her first text message from me; it’s quite cool to get casually texted from another continent/hemisphere. 

Things have really progressed this past month, especially recently. Tonight we talked on Skype, the first time we had verbally communicated in nearly three years. It was absolutely wild. Most of you seasoned Skypers will know this, but for the first five or ten seconds or so there is only audio, no video. Chloë was at her friends, as she doesn’t have a web cam.  As the connection went through they both began to talk, and I didn’t know which of the voice’s was Chloë’s! At that point it really struck me how unique this was. I hadn’t heard her voice in ages, yet we had bared our souls to one another. 

The conversation was a bit awkward, as Skype usually is, but it was a tad magnified by the presence of her friend. She is a wonderful girl and it was great to meet her. It was just a little bit weird and frustrating because after all this time I wanted to talk to Chloë and only Chloë.

She looked different to me, which was a major plus. It was a ‘major plus’ in the sense that she looked more mature, more womanly and less girly than I remembered her. Her face was somewhat harder and sharper, a transformation from the somewhat roundish faces of a child or young teenager. (I do understand that describing someone as ‘hard’ or ‘sharp’ usually doesn’t invoke flattering imagery, however these are the only words that fit my feelings.) In short, her features were more distinct. And her beauty just dropped me. I had seen recent pictures of her on Facebook, but it was surprising how much more beautiful she looked on Skype…as a living, breathing person.

Even though we had shared over 75 e-mails we spoke for an hour and a half, which went by as if it was twenty minutes. It was absolutely magical to see her and hear her voice, but it was also painful. I was so close to her, yet (as the cliché goes) so far away. I felt like I could reach out and touch her, but as I tried all I got was a stupid LCD screen. 

As we pay for Internet on a gigabyte plan, similar to that of a cell phone and minutes, I couldn’t talk to her forever. I finally broke the news to her that I should be going, and we attempted to close the connection. What a hard goodbye, let me tell you! She had been telling me that she was going to be getting a web cam for weeks, so I wasn’t all that confident that she was going to get one soon. When would I see her next? I finally hit ‘End’ and that was that. I was high for the rest of the day!

The e-mails continued and the relationship has continued to evolve. It is true that I have developed (or retained) romantic feelings for her, but I am determined to not let it dictate my actions here in Australia (and I intend to alert her to this in the next e-mail, which, incidentally, I am going to write in about twenty minutes). In the month leading up to my departure from the Northern Hemisphere I had the beginnings of a romantic relationship but had to tell the girl that I was absolutely, 100% going to be single when I left for Australia. I am holding true to myself and my word. 

This is truly one of the most unique things, relationship-wise, that I have ever experienced or heard. It has added a new component to my Australia trip, a new and exciting layer that keeps this life of mine intriguing. No matter how things end up when I return, and even if the e-mails stopped tomorrow, we will have created a memory that I will never forget. That is the only sure thing in all of this.

                                      ————————————————————–
An Unexpected Relationship Part II
 

Please give me some feedback on this post…it’s a new way of writing these blog posts, much more intensive, but I hope easier and more enjoyable to read, even though this one was long. More of these, or less? Do you enjoy the vomiting of feelings and experiences, or the thought out, story-like posts? And don’t worry, the pictures won’t go away. I’m just trying to write the way I am thinking of editing the previous posts in order to compile them into a book.